The boys were falling over, begging me to take them to the playground today. I was feeling tense and restless my self with the thought of our completely messy house and the undone to-do list for school today. I was about to say "no" when Rollin bribed me with "you could bring a book and sit in the sun while we play." Now how could I resist that? Especially since I am in the middle of reading "Pride and Prejudice" for the first time in my life! It has been on my "want-to-read- list" for at least a decade, but just now am I making the time for it. So I agreed. They cheered. We went. They played. I read. Then Rollin ran up the hill to where I sat in the sun, shivering from the wind and asked "can you push me on the swing?" "mmmmmmmm,no" I said lazily. He gave me a sneaky smile, and swung his hand from behind his back and asked "how 'bout now?" I looked into his little hand and saw a bright yellow dandelion flower, with a little love squished into it. I smiled and whisper laughed through my nose, shut my book and stood up. He cheered and jumped as he ran back down the hill to the old metal swing set. I followed appreciating his enthusiasm but not half as delighted myself. Then Fynn ran up to me and said "can you push me?" Now I felt completely obliged to say yes because I had already agreed to push one boy I must now in fairness push all of them. I had actually started to mumble a grumpy sort of "yeah" when I looked down at his sneaky little face and noticed he was clenching something in a fist in his jacket pocket. I quickly changed my response to "no." He jumped and smiled and pulled his hand out of his pocket and said "what about now?" and he shoved a tiny little weed into my hand. So I pushed them on the swings, little pushes and big pushes and under-dogs. Then I went with them down the slide and they took turns riding on my lap. And I know the time is limited that they will want my company while they play, my lap to ride, my help. But my heart swells to know that right now they do. Even on the days when I am less than sweet and fun in my own head and heart they come to me. Wanting me to play with them, to smile at them, to be with them. But I know this will not always be. So for now I cherish this little dandelion flower and this tiny little weed as reminders to give them my time, to give myself to them.